


Damon Albarn Is On Marijuana Again

by Queen_Of_Antarctica



Series: Damon Albarn Gothic [1]
Category: Blur, Gorillaz
Genre: And No One Will Have The Strength To Correct Him, I Imagine He's Going To Break Out Into Beetlebum During Some Gorillaz Concert, There Will Be No Encore, This Has Probably Happened At Some Point In Albarn's Career And You All Know It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 03:05:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10732845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Of_Antarctica/pseuds/Queen_Of_Antarctica
Summary: The title pretty much says it all.





	Damon Albarn Is On Marijuana Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



"Damon, are you okay?" he hears someone ask him from someplace far away.

"Huh?" Damon slurs intelligently, blinking up at blurry stage lights. He appears to be lying flat on his back onstage, with a strange man peering down at him. "What's wrong? Why did you stop the song? Roses Gabor, is that you?" 

"No," Graham Coxon says firmly. "I am not Roses Gabor."

Albarn squints. "Then, De La Soul black guy number.... two?"

Graham is silent.

"...Three?"

"Damon, you do know what set you're playing, right?"

"Well, of course, it's Gori..."

A pause. 

"I mean, The Good..."

Another pause.

He tries again, tentatively. "Er... Rocket... J...." Damon heaves a sad sigh. "I'm not even close, am I? Hang on, are you Jamie? Am I warm this time?" A hopeful pause. "Maybe a member of the Clash? I'm on speaking terms with at least two of them. Er, actually, after that incident in Brussels with the bourbon and the severed goat penis, make that one and a half."

Dave Rowntree coughs.

Graham gives Damon an incredulous look. "Alright, Damon, I don't know what you've been doing since Think Tank and I frankly don't want to know, but look, the fans are waiting. We were supposed to play Girls And Boys an hour ago but you've apparently decided to do a very bad, drunken impression of Shaun Ryder in DARE over and over again with varying degrees of coherence. And now you've just finished breaking out into what was probably supposed to sound like your own rendition of the entirety of Clint Eastwood, including Del's rapping bits, and let me tell you, listening to a British boyband frontman attempting to rap is the worst thing I've ever had to hear in my entire life- possibly even worse than that time back in 1991 when I had to sit through your early Leisure lyric rough drafts." He gives Damon a hard look. "I need you with me here. Have you processed any of that?"

Damon suddenly grins, very brightly, and waves his cane around in marijuana-addled triumph. "I've got it. You're Alex James. There we go!"

Graham smiles placidly out at the murmuring crowd. "Sorry," he says. "I'm afraid we won't be playing Song 2 tonight. Or any night after that, for that matter." He then turns around and immediately bashes Damon Albarn over the head with his guitar, killing him instantly.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're a chronic Gorillaz slash fic reader wondering who the hell Graham Coxon is, he's the guitarist of the band Albarn was in before Gorillaz. If you're wondering who the hell Damon Albarn is, I can't help you.


End file.
